


Hardly Eternity

by Makkoska



Series: Hardly Eternity [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Jashin - Freeform, M/M, a bit of angst, cursing, digging Hidan out, romance of a kind, somewhat AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-15 05:10:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makkoska/pseuds/Makkoska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Edo Tensei ends but Kakuzu manages to stay alive. He can’t die yet, not when he has an important thing to do. He has to rescue Hidan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Getting Back

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetad. This story is AU from a certain point in the Shinobi World War Arc. I’ve also glossed over the effects of the Impure World Reincarnation, but I needed Kakuzu alive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Edo Tensei ends but Kakuzu stays alive. He can’t die again, not when he has an important thing to do. He has to rescue Hidan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story really wanted to be written! The idea started bugging me even when I was working on my previous one. (Kakuzu and Hidan – don’t you think you should get out of my head for a bit?) Then, although I intended it to be a one-shot it kept growing and growing…
> 
> Warnings: Unbetad. This story is AU from a certain point in the Shinobi World War Arc. I’ve also glossed over the effects of the Impure World Reincarnation, but I needed Kakuzu alive.
> 
>  
> 
> Other warnings: Yaoi. Some gore and violence. Coarse language. A bit of angst. Romance.

 

 

 

/*/*/*/

 

**Hardly Eternity**

 

 

/*/*/*/

  
It is raining outside. Not the few drops here and there, barely making the ground wet type, but pouring down in such a heavy curtain one can hardly see what is right under his nose. Without the thunderstorm, I could have been caught when I slipped away from the battlefield. Me…and the other deserters.  
  
I look down at the cold body next to me. I can’t recognize the symbol on his forehead protector, but from the clothes he wears I would hazard that he was from Hidden Stone.  
  
He was here in this shallow cave – more like just a slight deepening in the side of the hill – when I crawled in. He could have defeated me. In the state I’m in I feel that even a ten year old could take me down with a rock. But he was shocked by my appearance – bloodied, beaten, water pouring down on my half naked form, stitches undone at more than one place, showing flesh and bones and threads underneath – and he reacted too late. So I stayed alive and he is just a corpse with a hole through his ribcage.  
  
The heart I have taken from him beats fast and irregular in my chest. It is a weak heart, just what I would expect from a coward with too slow reaction time, but it came handy when my own – my last remaining one – was about to fail.  
  
I rest my head against the damp wall of my shelter and try to clear my mind. My memories are vague. I remember the waking, the battle… those kids from Konoha, innumerable Zetsus and other members of the Akatsuki, even Ginkaku and Kinkaku… But how did I get there? _Why_ I was there and what was I fighting for? Was I really dead – or more importantly am I alive now?  
  
Just for a moment I close my eyes and try to rest my aching body and calm my whirling mind although I know I have to get going soon. I need to be as far away from here as I can and as fast as possible. Finding the answers to those questions can wait until I’m somewhere safe and my sole heart won’t feel like bursting out of my chest at any time. I never felt this bad in my whole life. Not even when I was beaten down by Leaf’s first Kage or put through hell by my own people for it afterwards.  
  
It feels like I should be dead, and I’m just clinging to my existence by sheer will.  
  
Suddenly I realize there was once a time I felt close to feeling this bad. Lying on my stomach, threads pooling around me laxly, no longer under my control. That damned scarecrow with the Sharingan standing above me, the power of lightning gathering in his hand, ready for the final strike.  
  
I don’t remember his exact words – it sounded as if it were coming from deep underwater – but I still know they had been mocking. I fell and he survived. Not on his own accord though – saved by that kid. The Nine-tails.  
  
I understand now that I was dead and been brought back. By Orochimaru, my mind supplies, this was his technique, but I’m not sure that’s right. Maybe it’s not even important.  
  
In the end the Jutsu failed or was ended by purpose, wasn’t it? I was still fighting, still had at least three hearts when it did, but I crumbled and kneeled over. I don’t know why my existence didn’t cease at that point. I don’t understand the knacks of that Jutsu enough to answer that. Maybe it had to do something with my hearts. Maybe with the fact that I wasn’t really human before I died. What matters is that I’m alive now, even if barely, and out of the battle (though I would be found with ease if the rain stops).  
  
I pull my legs underneath myself and stand up. It takes more effort than I would expect. My left arm is hanging low and I actually need to grab it with the other to push flesh against flesh so the threads can hold it in the right place. Every breath, every step hurts, but I need to get moving before anyone catches me. I’m pretty sure I only have enemies around.  
  
I’m out in the rain by the time I realize I don’t know where to go. Maybe I should head to one of the hideouts, get some money, and pay for some decent establishment where I could recover. With that aim I feel myself just a bit stronger and manage to take step after staggering step.  
  
That is probably all my money now I realize. The Akatsuki seems to have been defeated. Those four with me – Itachi, Deidara, Sasori and the man who called himself Pein, though looked nothing like him – were obviously dead summoned back to life as well, just as me. There was Zetsu, who was still alive… and it might be just my crackling brain but was that Tobi giving orders? That leaves Kisame, Konan and Hidan. I guess they can be still alive and not involved in that slaughterhouse called war.  
  
What did that blond girl say? Something along the lines of Hidan rotting away where they left him. Does this mean a prison in Konoha, I wonder. If he was defeated but they couldn’t kill him, they probably took him captive. Maybe locked him up in a dark cell no one ever visited when they got tired of his yelling and cursing and praying to Jashin to smite them down. Maybe with everyone fighting in the war I should be able to free him.  
  
That thought makes me stop. I can’t be out of my mind this much, can I? Thinking about walking into enemy territory in the state I’m in to help _Hidan_ escape? No way in hell. I’ll just simply get my money and disappear for a few years. That’s the only sane thing to do.

/*/*/*/

  
When I drop face first to the ground the third time in what feels like only half an hour or so, I wonder if I’ll make it to anywhere at all. My strength seems to have left me completely. My body is failing.  
  
Actually, I’m not even sure if it’s my body any longer. I’ve slept only for short periods – if I can call it sleep, falling unconscious right on the spot I was – but every time I had flashes of another man, trying to get control back. Was his body used to summon me back? No wonder it tries to reject me in that case.  
  
He wants to be dead, but I want to live. All I can call my own is my will, and I only got that back recently. I’m not going to let it go. I won’t give in. If I’m a master in anything it’s how to stay alive against all odds.  
  
So despite the frequent stumbles, the pain, the unclear thoughts, I keep walking. If I can’t any longer, I crawl on all four. I keep off the roads and I’m lucky enough not to meet anyone. I need more hearts – I don’t know how long this one will last at this rate. I haven’t lived with only one in over seventy years. It is frightening, but I’m not sure if I could actually take anyone’s at the state I’m in.  
  
I’m so bad off that it takes me days to realize that I’m actually on my way back to Konoha.  
  
Maybe I’m only a ghost, drawn back to the spot I was killed. For the first time since my renewed existence I crouch down next to a puddle to take a look at my face in it’s surface. It appears to be more or less the same I remember, only now it’s thinner, more tired, and battered. The only obvious change is in my eyes. Where it used to be red, it is now black, making a strong contrast with the green of the iris. It is a disturbing change, but doesn’t explain why I’m going back, when I already decided against it.  
  
I guess as I’ve come this far, I can now check the scene of my defeat. If I find any clues about my ex-partner there… I’ll decide how to go on then.  
  
So I continue on, barely eating or drinking anything. I only crave for sleep, but I try to avoid that. The dreams of the man of whom body I’m using are very disturbing, and every time I can’t resist laying down any longer, I’m gripped by the fear that I’ll never wake up again.

/*/*/*/

  
I don’t know how long it takes me to reach this fatal spot. With my sense of time failing it could have been days, but weeks as well. A strong presence of foreboding grips me, telling me I’m at the right place. There is an actual crater in the ground where I’ve been smashed down by that blasted Jinchuuriki. If I believed in any deity, I’d send them a prayer to let the remaining of the Akatsuki capture him and suck him dry of his powers.  
  
I don’t linger for long. No matter how I’ve denied it up till now, I must admit to myself now why I really came, so I start searching for clues to find out more about Hidan’s fate.  
  
I’m drawn into the forest by some unseen force. There must be some kind of a magnet between the cursed priest and my latent masochistic side, because I actually manage to find him.  
  
I stare at the uneven ground. It looks like some well filled up by rocks and soil. He’ll be underneath – I can feel his chakra signature flaring up and fading periodically, like a heartbeat. It is a week sign, but enough to let me know he is there, alive.  
  
I’ve no tools or even weapons I could use as such, so I harden my skin and start to dig with my bare hands. The physical effort and the chakra cost leave me dizzy. I’m just stopping for a break, the hole barely knee deep, when I’m attacked. I feel the movement from behind and manage to spin to the side just in time. I’m surprised to find my enemy is not human but a beast, a deer of some kind.  
  
It rushes away as it failed to hit me, stopping only at the edge of the small clearing. There are others of its kind nearby, watching me. They act as some alarm system I suppose and can only hope their owners are still busy with the war and won’t check on them. I need to hurry up.  
  
Unfortunately, battered as I am, the digging takes a ridiculous amount of time and I curse this weak, stolen body and heart every time I have to stop for a rest in fear of passing out. Finally I see the first glimpse of what I’m looking for – a hand. On the index finger, right under the cracked nail polish is a ring. Dirty as it is I can’t make out the kanji on it, but I know it reads Three. I pull on the limb experimentally, wanting to see how badly it’s stuck but I can move it without resistance.  
  
For a moment I stare blankly at it. It is Hidan’s left hand without doubt, but it ends under the wrist in a torn stump. Looking down I see the tattered edge of his cloak peeking out from under the rocks. Lifting that up I see the cloth covers only what appears to be the upper part of Hidan’s chest. He is in pieces. They tore him to pieces and buried him at this land of nowhere. No wonder he couldn’t get out.  
  
An inexplicable surge of anger rushes over me. Though this is exactly the fate I promised for the annoying idiot thousands of times, I still feel they didn’t have the _right_ to condemn him so.  Did they know he stayed alive despite all? Probably they did.  
  
I’m working faster now, my fury edging me on. Damn these Konoha bastards and damn Hidan as well, for letting himself be tricked and meeting such an end. If he hadn’t been so stupid to leave my side during the fight, this wouldn’t have ended like this. For neither of us.  
  
My rage keeps growing as I dig out more and more of my idiotic partner. It helps me to carry on. I toss the different parts of him out of the hole, mentally preparing myself for the tedious task of stitching him back together. I notice with some relief that nothing seems decayed or eaten by insects. Everything is bloody and torn – bones shattered, their sharp edges pushing through mangled flesh, guts and other organs spilled. Still they are warm, living, and I can’t help but adore just a bit the amazing power that keeps Hidan alive in this condition. I suppose he’s just too stupid to realize he should be dead, as I refuse to acknowledge this as some kind of divine intervention.  
  
I find the head among the last pieces. It’s whole, only the jaw is broken. Hidan’s eyelids remain closed even when I lift it up by the hair, though I expect him to react to that, sensitive as he’s always been of it. Close up I can see his eyes are moving behind the lids as if he’s dreaming. I toss the head out of the well and climb after it.

/*/*/*/

  
Hidan’s body is like a morbid jigsaw puzzle. It takes me some time, wrapping the whole bloody mess in his tattered cloak and dragging it away from the hole and the watchful eyes of the stags.  I can just hope I leave no vital parts behind.  
  
It’s a slow work, putting him back together. He’s lucky I have such an expert knowledge of anatomy, or I wouldn’t manage it otherwise. On the other hand, I actually have a hard time recalling all the things I’ve learned over the years. I’m on the verge of exhaustion: my hands shake as I push my threads through flesh and skin and my mind wants to shut down.  
  
I can’t recall the last time when I ate, drank or slept properly. My stomach churns even at the idea, though it might be due to the heart I’m holding… not that I was ever squeamish of such things. The organ in my hand is beating slowly but steadily, although it’s not connected to any arteries to push blood through them. Maybe I should take it – I wonder if it would ever fail, or would it last forever in my chest. But no – the idea of Hidan’s heart in my body is just plain wrong. Distasteful. So I fit it back where it belongs and watch as it connects itself even without the help of my threads.  
  
I stitch up the chest so only the head is left now.  Fixing that as well and finally, _finally_ I am finished. The mangled edges might not fit together perfectly, but I’m sure Hidan’s insane healing powers will take care of that. What matters is that he’s whole, alive and breathing, even if his body looks worse than my own ever did with the stitches and scars criss-crossing it, and being thin to the point of emaciation. He hasn’t woken yet, but I’m confident he will.  
  
With my task finally done, all strength leaves my body and I collapse on the mossy ground of the clearing I’ve sheltered us at. I try to fight for consciousness – I’m not sure if I dream again of the original owner of this body, I’ll have any power left to claim it as my own. But I can’t die now, just after I saved Hidan, because that would be the most ridiculous ending ever.  
  
I cling to that thought as darkness sweeps over me.

/*/*/*/

  
I wake to sharp nails digging into my shoulders and someone shaking me so forcefully that it whacks my head against the ground.  
  
My somewhat foggy gaze finds Hidan’s face only inches from mine. He is looking at me with wide-open, insane eyes, though I’m not sure he actually sees anything.  
  
“Stop shaking me,” I grind out. My voice is weak and hoarse, making me wonder for a moment when was the last time I spoke out loud. Hidan does as he is told, his gaze gaining some focus.  
  
“It’s really you,” he whispers and his fingers ghost over my face. I find his touch disturbing, but my body is too numb to move and shake it off. “You came back. You came back for me, just as I knew you would.” His words are filled with wonder and I’m afraid he lost what little sanity he ever possessed. I don’t know how long he was buried under, as I don’t know how long I’ve been dead. Probably long enough to crack more stable persons than him.    
  
I want to answer something scornful and sarcastic, but that would cost too much effort. Instead I just close my eyes again and go back to sleep. I think I feel him shifting to lie down next to me, but probably I’m just imagining it


	2. A New Chance of Life

/*/*/*/

 

Time passes by, but I remember only flashes and have only vague memories, as I shift in and out of consciousness.  
  
The aching in each and every part of my body.  
  
The weakness.  
  
My heart hammering wild in my chest every time I jolt awake from one of _those_ dreams. I’m fighting death I think. But I will win. I must.  
  
The thirst. I might croak out something as there’s a hand holding my head and cool water slips into my mouth.  
  
The hunger. The meat I’m fed is half-raw but I choke it down nevertheless. “It’s deer,” a voice says with dry humour.  
  
The cold. A dirty cloak is thrown over me. I can feel the stench of soil and blood coming from it. A warm body that presses close when I’m shaking.  
  
Slowly I realize it’s Hidan taking care of me and the mortification of it is enough to make me try to get better.  
  
I start to cling to my conscious moments. I think we are still on the clearing I carried Hidan’s torn body to, and I wonder how long have we been here. Hidan barely seem to leave my side, although he must have gone to hunt and also to get some water. He’s more advanced survival skills than I’d have given him credit for.  
  
He keeps talking, even when he can’t know I’m awake. Well, that just follows our old conversation patterns – him chatting all the time and I’m rewarding him with silence. Having nothing better to do, I actually listen to him now.  
  
There’s surprisingly few mentions of Jashin, although his name comes up now and then of course. He blabbers about our defeaters, me, revenge, the dark days he spent under the ground, me, the up and downsides of immortality, me again… it’s actually rather unnerving. There are times when he just lies next to me, repeating “you came back” over and over again.    
  
Once, when he seems to carry on with this for hours, I snap.  
  
“Shut up already,” I croak. “Have you completely lost your marbles?”  
  
He jerks in surprise at hearing my voice and sits up. He’s been snuggled close again and now that he left my side, I actually feel cold.    
  
“You’re awake!” his pupils are dilated, covering up the violet of his eyes. He actually looks _innocent,_ which I know he’s definitely not. “How long you’ve been up?”  
  
“Long enough to wish I was still out,” I grumble. My throat feels like sandpaper. Annoyance shows on his face now, making him look more like his normal self.  
  
“You bastard, I’ve been worried sick. Thought you were done for good. We’re here for a week at least and you’ve hardly been lucid... What the fuck happened to you? What took you so bloody long to get me out? How long that actually was?  What’s it with your eyes - and your hearts? I’m sure I only heard only one beating in your damned chest...”  
  
“You’ve been listening to my heartbeat?” I ask, because I’ve no answers for the rest. If I didn’t know better I would swear he blushes. “Give me some water and let me rest. We need to get moving soon, and I’ll need my strength.”  
  
He mutters something under his breath that I can’t make out, but he brings me the drink. I notice it’s not an actual cup of any sorts, just a hollow piece of tree-bark. Raising my glance to Hidan, I realize he’s stark naked.  
  
“What? Stop looking at me like that. I’ll let you know that I only have my cloak, what remained of it anyhow, and I’ve been covering you up with it.”  
  
“I see you built a nice little savage life here. Have you painted any tribal markings on yourself yet and pierced your nose with a bone?”  
  
“I think I liked you better unconscious.”  
  
I don’t dignify that with an answer as it actually costs me an effort to stop my hands shaking and not spill the water. I lay down to sleep afterwards less afraid of the nightmares than before. I hear Hidan shuffling about. When he thinks I’ve fallen asleep he crawls back under the cloak and presses close against me. I don’t have the strength to kick him away. Also, I’m rather glad for the warmth coming from his body. I hear him whisper “you came back” before darkness claims me again.

/*/*/*/

  
I spend more and more time awake with each passing day, gradually becoming stronger. Hidan brings me water and meat if I ask for them and annoys the hell out of me whenever I want it or not. He is full of questions I don’t have answers for.  
  
“So you say the Akatsuki is finished? If you survived that spell or technique or whatever it was, maybe the others did as well.”  
  
“I don’t think so. They were too... mortal for that.”  
  
“Even Puppet-boy?”  
  
“Sasori was revived in his own form. His _human_ body,” I clarify at Hidan’s blank stare.  
  
“Did he even have one?”  
  
“You are really a cretin.”  
  
“Not that I want him to be alive. He was a freak.”  
  
I don’t tell him that as for myself, I rather liked Sasori. We used to spend hours together whenever we met at one of the hideouts. Usually we’re both glad to be rid of our actual partners for a while. We never said more than a few words to each other, I’m usually reading, he fiddling with one of his puppets. The man knew how to keep silent, a rare trait. It wasn’t what you’d call friendship, but if I wasn’t irritated by the continuous presence of someone in the organization, it was him.

/*/*/*/

  
In a few days I declare I’m well enough to get going.  
  
“Are you sure?” Hidan asks skeptically, eying my somewhat still shaking hands. No, I’m not sure at all, but we can’t afford to stay here any longer. So we agree that next morning we’re off.  
  
“So where will we go?” he asks, taking on the tatters of his cloak. It shows half of his chest and most of his legs as well, but at least he‘s no longer naked. Unfortunately I, being just as bare-chested as I was when I escaped the war, am now cold without it thrown over me.  
  
“For a start we should just get as far away from here as possible.” It‘s not even a question if we’re going together - at this point our only chance of survival is to join forces. Once we regain our strength we can go on our separate ways.  
  
Actually Hidan’s body seems completely healed by now. I help him get rid of the stitches and see that those terrible scars are reduced to nothing but pink lines marking his skin. Without giving it a conscious thought I ran a finger down on the largest one zigzagging from his jugular vein to his pelvic bone. This was the last one I did up, before fitting his head, just after placing his heart at the right place.  
  
I’m a bit envious - I feel nothing like my normal self yet, while he’s almost as good as new.  
  
Rising up my head I find Hidan looking at me strangely. He grabs my wrist when I start to pull my hand back.  
  
“I haven’t even thanked you yet,” he says with such grave sincerity that I feel ill at ease.  
  
“You didn’t, but you always were an ungrateful brat.”  
  
“Fuck you, Kakuzu!” he snaps and storms away. I smirk. This is better, having the usual banter and animosity between us. I don’t know how to deal with strange tenderness and awkward thank you-s.  
  
He’s back soon of course, anger apparently forgotten by sunset. He roasts, or rather scorches the last remaining pieces of deer. As I choke it down I can’t help but hope our next meal will be somewhat more civilised.  
  
At nightfall he takes off the cloak, lays it over me and burrows in, pressing his body close to mine.  
  
“What? You’d rather freeze your arse off?” he asks when I raise my eyebrows at him.  
  
Later still I hear him whisper his usual “you came back” and I wonder if he means it as a “thank you” this time.

/*/*/*/

  
  
We’re lucky enough to meet a pair of Genins, so by the time we venture into a village we’ve robes, misfit as they are on our backs and some money in our pockets. I also have three hearts beating in my chest. They aren’t ideal - one for Earth Techniques and two for Water, none of them really powerful... I’m still weak, but I’d be able to stand against stronger foes than Genins now.  
  
We rent a room at an inn cheap enough that no questions are raised at our unholy appearance. It’s still risky - we’re at the Land of Fire after all, and although nothing links us directly to Akatsuki now (the rags of Hidan’s cloak was left behind with the corpses of the Genins and our forehead protectors with the stroke-through symbols are nothing but memory) there’s still the possibility that someone will recognise us.  
  
But the temptation of a shower, a bed and some hot meal that isn’t half-raw stag meat is too great. I try to listen to the rumours on the streets and in the common room of the inn, but no one seems sure if the war has ended yet, and who won if it did.  
  
We talk about revenge at night. I tell Hidan that we can’t go back yet to wreak havoc in Konoha. We’ll wait - even a few years if necessary - and strike when they’d expect it the less.  
  
Surprisingly enough, he agrees. Maybe the time he spent buried underground diminished his reckless bloodlust.  
  
“Bloody shadow-kid,” he mutters, eyes staring ahead, but unseeing “and his fucking little tricks. A few weeks or a few years, doesn’t matter. In the end I’ll send him to Jashin-sama the most painful way possible.” He actually makes a small grimace at the mention of his god. That makes me curious, but I don’t question it. He catches my eyes but misinterprets my gaze.  
  
“I guess the same goes for you as well, Kakuzu? What did that Kakashi do, to best you in the end?”  
  
“He didn’t best me,” I say simply. “He got some reinforcement.”  
  
“Reinforcement?”  
  
“That Jinchuuriki Deidara mentioned...destroyed two of my hearts with a single blow,” I fall silent for a moment, thinking about something that’s been bothering me every time I recalled these fateful events, “…though even before that - one failed in a mysterious way...”  
  
“Did it?” Hidan asks and I can hear the edginess in his voice.  
  
“Hmm. As if an invisible force pierced me through the chest.”  
  
“Ugh...I...really?” he stammers, eyes darting away guiltily, confirming my suspicions.  
  
“You bloody little cretin,” I growl. “You let yourself be separated from me _and_ you somehow managed to stab through my heart? It’s all _your_ fault that we...”  
  
“Hey, that’s not fair!”  he shouts. “They just got fucking lucky! They weren’t even that strong the bloody bastards...” he’s right in that, we’ve beaten more tough opponents before. But right now that’s not enough to quench my fury.  
  
“Don’t try to shrink from responsibility!” I’m satisfied to see him taking an involuntary step back as I stand up. “You always manage to land yourself in trouble and in the end you dragged me with you into it! Look at what’s become of us!”  
  
“Oh snap out of it Kakuzu,” he’s back in my face now, the flicker of uncertainty I saw in his eyes replaced by indignation.  “I’m alive and whole again and you came back as well, didn’t you? In the end we still have the upper hand.”  
  
I grab the front of the stolen shirt he’s wearing and slam him against the wall. I might lack my usual speed and strength, but his skull still meets the tapestry with a satisfactory crack.  
  
“Back again you say? Can you even comprehend how I am now? _What_ I am now?”  
  
“How’d I fucking know,” he shoves back hard “when you never talk to me? You came back, got me out but didn’t really fill me on in the details, did you? As far as I can see, you’re the same fucking asshole you always were!”  
  
“This is not even my fucking body!” This time I actually lift him off the ground before bashing his obtuse head against the wall again.  
  
“What the hell does that even mean?” he screams. “Just look at you,” his fingers dig in painfully between the stitches on my arms, “you’re all the same, what the hell do you mean this isn’t your body?”  
  
“Just because you are too dim-witted...”  
  
“You know what, Kakuzu?” he rides me over “You’re not the only one with issues. What do you think it was like for me in that hell-hole? Praying for Jashin to free me but he didn’t, then asking him to kill me, but he didn’t do that either... waiting for you, but you didn’t come... I figured you just left me there to rot, cause you always seemed so bloody strong, so I thought _no way he was defeated_ … then got afraid you might have been killed after all and no one will ever know where am I and I’ll stay forever underground, torn to a _million_ fucking pieces… and then you did come after such a fucking _long_ time, got me out, but almost died on me you lame old prick...” He runs out of breath and just glares at me, panting hard.  
  
Rather flummoxed by his monologue, I let him go.  
  
I could shout back that it took me so long because I was dead and probably tucked away in a morgue at Konoha, and that he should be grateful I came back for him _at all._ But suddenly I feel worn-out and the last thing I wish for is this pointless argument to continue. It’s too much like old times, and I feel like those strange weeks at the clearing after I got him out didn’t happen at all.  
  
I leave him and go to lie down without a word. He keeps grumbling to himself, sometimes raising his voice a bit, so I can make out the insults aimed at me. As I don’t react he goes to sleep in his own bed after a while.

/*/*/*/

  
Hidan is tossing and turning in his bed, gritting his teeth, mumbling, sometimes crying out. He sounds like he’s having one hell of a nightmare. Two weeks passed since our departure from the forest and it’s been like this every night since. I’m not better off myself. Whenever I fall asleep I dream of that stranger whom body I’m using. We always fight for control and after each occasion I wake with my pulse running wild, gripped by a senseless fear that this time I’ve lost and I’m going to die.  
  
Maybe that’s why I never wake Hidan - his thrashing helps me to stay awake. Maybe I just enjoy watching him suffer, knowing I’m not the only one. I never ask what he’s dreaming about – it is pretty obvious anyway.  
  
He suddenly jolts awake and sits up. His breathing is loud and ragged in the silence of the dark room. I keep my own low and even, my eyes open to the barest crack. The room we rented is a cheap one again - I never stood wasting money, and right now we barely have any. The thin curtains on the window don’t do anything to keep the moonlight out, so I can make out his silhouette.  
  
For a while he remains motionless, knees drawn up and head buried in his hands. Then suddenly he stands up and paddles over to my bed. I’m too surprised to react when he slips in under the covers and presses his naked body close to mine. He sighs contently and unconsciously I relax as well.  
  
“You came back,” he whispers.  
  
“Of course I did,” I find myself replying. Hidan jerks in surprise at hearing my voice, but doesn’t pull back. Lately I’ve always been cold, so the heat coming from his body is actually pleasant, and while the way he is pressed against me should be stifling, it doesn’t bother me.  
  
I wake at the crack of dawn. My first thought is that I slept for hours without my usual nightmares. It’s so marvellous that the reason which woke me doesn’t sink in immediately.  
  
Hidan is moving, hips thrusting slightly, pushing what is unmistakably an erection against my hip and thigh. I can tell from the way he’s breathing, fast and excited, that he’s awake and not having some late-adolescent wet dream. He is lying by my side, one leg thrown over mine, one hand across my chest, head on my shoulder. I must have been sleeping like I was out cold, if I didn’t wake at being tangled up like this.  
  
I move to push the shameless little idiot away, but somehow my hand lands on the small of his back and pull him even tighter against me. He stills for the barest of seconds - then I feel him smiling against my collarbone. He continues humping me with obvious intent, gasping mumbled words I can’t be arsed to try to make out.  
  
This is the most passive I’ve ever been during sex. It’s just Hidan masturbating really, while I happen to be there. In the back of my head I know I should find his actions audacious, but my mind is blissfully blank, my body lax. It’s a pleasurable feeling, having him so close, but there’s no rush of excitement, my body being still too weak.  
  
Hidan’s forehead is pressed hard against my shoulder now, his movements speeding up. He moans something that sounds suspiciously like his usual mantra of “you came back” as he spills his release, making a mess of my pants and the covers.  
  
Spent, he raises his head and smiles at me, obviously satisfied. Instead of punching him in the face for his uninvited little performance as he would deserve, I caress his back and buttocks. His hand slides from my shoulder down to my stomach and before I could stop him, into the loose trousers I’m wearing for the night.  
  
He utters an unhappy whine when he finds me limp. He still caresses and tugs on me gently, which is not an unpleasant sensation, but is rather disturbing as my flesh doesn’t react to it.  
  
“Hidan...” I warn.  
  
“But you didn’t...”  
  
“I’ve been dead for gods know how long, idiot. What do you expect?”  
  
“Oh,” he sighs and stills the movement of his hand. “Next time then.” With that he rests his head on my chest and pretty much immediately his breathing deepens. His hand is still in my pants.  
  
I raise my head and stare down at him incredulously. The little bastard had the nerve to fall asleep on me like this.


	3. Back to the Old Ways

/*/*/*/

 

It’s an astonishingly long journey, but we finally near the border of Land of Fire. I take the risk and meet my bankers in the last town we’re visiting to collect my money.  
  
At first they don’t believe it’s really me. Probably it’s not surprising, considering they’ve only ever seen me in my hood and mask before and never barefaced, and even the colour of my eyes have changed. The news of my death also reached them. I guess they thought the money I left with them to get it invested, is now theirs.  
  
The boss is only convinced when I detach my arms and strangle his two subordinates. A suitcase of money is quickly shoved into my hands after that.  
  
Hidan is waiting for me outside the building, lounging against the wall. He makes a point of staring challengingly at every passer-by who spares him a glance. As if I hadn’t told him to keep a low profile... typical.  
  
I buy clothes that actually fit us and supplies for nights spent in the wild. A few books and maps for passing time. I think long and hard whenever to purchase a new mask or not. In the end I decide against it - I’ve been wearing one for the last couple of decades, so I would be less recognisable without it, even with the stitches and all.  
  
When I feel like I can’t avoid it any longer, I take Hidan to a store that sells ninja weapons. He can’t use his technique without drawing the enemies’ and his own blood, so I know it’s unavoidable. Still I’m gritting my teeth all the way there, knowing it will cost me a fortune.  
  
He gets over-excited for sharp metallic objects like a child about to get his favourite chocolate in a sweetshop. He’s ready to choose a katana he obviously doesn’t know how to wield when he sees a cruel-looking spear in the back of the shop. I’m not sure what catches his eyes - the barbs and hooks embroidered into its blade, guaranteeing that it would cause maximum damage and pain when wrenched out from someone’s flesh or if it’s the obnoxious red colour it’s painted to.  
  
He falls so obviously in love with the thing that it makes my task of beating down the price almost impossible.  
  
Thus well prepared, though purse considerably lighter, we are ready.  
  
“Do we really have to do this?” Hidan whines when I open my new Bingo-book and check for the highest rewards.  
  
“You can go wherever you want,” I tell him. “But if you decide to come with me, you’ll do what I say.”  
  
“The fuck I will,” he grumbles, but follows me out of the town nevertheless.

/*/*/*/

  
We fall back to the old routine with surprising ease. I go after wanted men - shinobi, criminals, or anyone unlucky enough to be in the way of someone who can pay well - and collect the money for their heads. Hidan follows, complains, makes rude comments on my love of money and generally annoys the hell out of me.  
  
He went through some kind of a religious crisis I think, but by now he’s on best terms with his bloody Jashin again, talking about him all the time with the highest praise and carrying out his bizarre ceremonies.  
  
When I question him about it, he tells me that at first he felt his god had abandoned him, as he didn’t listen to his prayers for freedom and later for salvation in the form of death.  
  
“But I realized that it was just a test, to see if I would pull through. I was deemed worthy in the end and he sent you back to rescue me.”  
  
I break out his neck in the argument this statement provokes and we don’t speak for days.

/*/*/*/

  
I’m not saying nothing has changed compared to the way we were and it’s not only that Akatsuki no longer exists. I miss the organization a little bit - I’ve been part of it for over a decade after all. I’ve even grew fond of the cloak, though I admit the nail-polish was tad overkill.  
  
Hidan claims he doesn’t mind to be free of it at all. There’s not a single former member he doesn’t have a few spiteful words for. Surprisingly he tries to evade my questioning why he joined, if he had such a bad opinion. Finally he mutters that he thought I might be someone he could learn from, being both immortals and all. Wasn’t it for the slight flush of embarrassment on his cheeks I wouldn’t believe him.  
  
“Still, you never listened to a single word I’ve ever said,” I point out.  
  
“That’s because you turned out to be a cynical asshole!”  
  
“...You should have. Then you would know that there’s no such thing as immortality.”  
  
“Don’t give me that shit, Kakuzu! What the hell would you call what’s happening to us?”  
  
We’re the same as we were yet we have changed. Though definitely not in the way we talk or react to each other - violently.  
  
If one thing is different, it’s the way we spend our nights. Arguments and brawls are for the daytime. When darkness falls, our nightmares come to haunt us and we have no other means to fight them, than to huddle close together. It’s a weakness, something that keeps pestering me, but it’s better to the alternative: fighting off sleep and fearing what will happen if I can’t any longer.  
  
If we’re outside, camping at whatever godforsaken place night has fallen around us, Hidan curls up next to me on the ground, always making body contact, sometimes going as far as putting his head in my lap. When it’s his turn to stay up and guard - usually the second half of the night - he keeps a hand on my arms or shoulders. I don’t protest - this seems to be the only way to keep our nightmares away.  
  
Whenever I shook him off I was haunted by the same dreams of battling a fatal fight for my body, for my life. I know that without contact he dreams about being buried alive. I’m not pleased with this dependency, but it could be worse. There could be no solution at all.  
  
Whenever we spend the night with a roof above us, he crawls under my covers. After a while I stop renting rooms with two single beds. It’s usually cheaper with a double anyway.  
  
I can’t say that I like him being so close - my reflexes scream at me that it’s too dangerous having him right next to me when I’m the most vulnerable. That I should get away, that having him wrapped around me makes me open to attacks, from him or from any unknown enemy who can happen on us.  
  
Still, I never push him away. I don’t even delude myself it’s only because of the nightmares. Having him close makes me feel alive. I walk this world of living, but I’m not sure I belong here. The stolen body I’m using is a dead man’s after all, the hearts as well. When I’m sure Hidan can’t see, I prod my flesh, finding it’s stiffer and colder than it should be. Maybe it was always like this, I can’t recall. Having Hidan near warms me up like no extra layers of cloth can. It’s _nice_ , having someone living, breathing, hot next to me. He always feels like he’s burning up, compensating for my too low body temperature...  
  
Let’s face it - I’m not completely sane.  
  
We make a nice pair, I think sardonically. Hidan was always mad as a hatter, so his more frequent than usual dips into insanity doesn’t make much of a difference. He doesn’t act as if anything is different, like it’s natural that we sleep wrapped around each other.  
  
He obviously likes it, if his frequent rubbing off against me is any indication. I find it a bit disconcerting, but I never stop it, just like I didn’t at that first time. One more thing to prove I’m not in my right mind.

/*/*/*/

  
  
There are other, maybe less obvious changes as well in our relationship – for example we actually start to talk to each other. Well, Hidan used to talk all the time, while I hardly ever answered. Nowadays I’m more inclined to have an actual conversation. Not as frequently as Hidan would like - which is all the time - but now and then.  
  
Revenge - that’s the topic that comes up the most.  
  
Hidan can rant about what he’ll do to that shadow-manipulating kid once he gets his hands on him for _hours_. He likes to go into every bloody, gory detail. Torture, vivisection, mutilation - I can’t say he doesn’t have an active imagination. I actually have to stop him once, when we’re just about to have lunch. There are visual images that can make even me lose appetite.  
  
“Oh, don’t be a spoilsport,” he protests. “Like you wouldn’t do the same for that Kakashi.”  
  
Would I, - I ponder. I certainly wouldn’t feel any grief over it, but I’d settle for having him lying helpless under my feet and to throw his derogatory words back at him, before tearing his heart out. I have the experience to do it with such quick effectiveness that he’d see the last beats of it... Maybe I should catch the Jinchuuriki brat and kill him in front of Kakashi first. Slowly and painfully. The younger generations always surpassing the old ones... what a crap.  
  
“Are you alright there? You went awfully quiet,” Hidan asks.  
  
“Just daydreaming.”  
  
“So tell me,” he smirks “what would _you_ do?”  
  
Less often we talk about other things as well. The Akatsuki. Life before the Akatsuki. Favourite foods. Assessment of fights that proved any challenge. Of these we manage to hold a civilized conversation most of the time.  
  
Then there are the topics that never fail to provoke an argument. Religion and money on the top of the list.  
  
We also fight over control, the time he spends with his rituals, the time I spend running after money, which of us should tell where to go next, what to do next, if we should spend the night outside or venture into a village, Hidan being reckless in battle, me holding back too much in battle, if he should wear a shirt, if I should wear a mask, that he should eat his vegetables not just the meat if I’ve paid for them (is there a word for the opposite of vegetarian I wonder, because Hidan is that), if wearing nail-polish holds any reason at all, of if it was just something Konan came up with to make our life more difficult, that I snore, that he grits his teeth in sleep...  
  
Mundane, stupid things. We practically fight about _everything._ I secretly enjoy it. Hidan doesn’t even try to hide that he loves it.

/*/*/*/

  
Gradually - much slower than I expected - I’m getting stronger. Taking on head-hunting again has the additional benefit of making stocking up on hearts easier. Strong hearts, five of them which are fit to use for all of my techniques.  
  
The battle I’m fighting for this body can only be win inch by painstaking inch that much is obvious now . How many months have passed since my resurrection? Four or five? Or half a year? Still I’m not in full control, not yet quite as strong as I used to be. There are moments of weaknesses, a faltering step here, an unsure hand-sign there, resulting in a missed attack, a failed technique. Each occasion leaves me shaking with fury. I want to tear apart my body when it happens, check to the smallest bone, slightest of sinew and muscle, thinnest of thread to find out what went wrong. Even Hidan is smart enough not to cross my path at times like these.  
  
It’s not only in battle that I can’t get my body to carry out my orders.  
  
Each night we spend at an inn, in an abandoned hut, or just at a somewhat protected clearing or cave in the wild, Hidan brings himself off by either humping me like a teenage brat or jerking off while clasping my shoulders, a leg thrown over mine, mouthing silent words of “you came back”-s against my chest.  
  
On each and every occasion I fail to react.  
  
What started as a strange little trip away from normality is now the regular cause of frustration. I know that Hidan wants more, and damn it to hell, I want more as well.  
  
If the idiot possessed a modicum of empathy, he would realize how awkward this is for me. Would this be not some kind of a strange ritual where we don’t talk to each other, I could tell him to stop. But by some silent agreement I never say a word and Hidan also keeps oddly silent, only gasping words for himself. Would any talk about our _feelings_ not be a taboo, we could discuss this at the daylight. But that is just unthinkable.  
  
So we continue like this. Once, when I’m in an exceptionally charitable mood, I reach down, take him in my hand and bring him off.  
  
He tries to make me do it again of course. Watching his attempt to convince me without saying a word fills me with sadistic pleasure. He kisses and licks all over my chest and stomach, grabs my hand to bring it to his crotch. When I refuse to cooperate he groans in frustration and goes back to pleasuring himself.  
  
I guess I’m acting just as ridiculous as he does, but I’m getting nothing out of this, so I don’t see why I should make this better or easier for him.  
  
One night he decides to take things further, so he raises my legs and tries to shove his cock up my arse. I act more out of astonishment at his audacity than outrage, when I grab his neck, lift him off the bed and throw him across the room. I’ve maybe a minute before he regains consciousness. I should have expected this really, I think.  To do something so stupidly thoughtless is typical of Hidan.  
  
He starts to scream at me the moment his eyes snap open, the spell of silence broken. I was somewhat in a daze, but with that it slips away, giving way to anger and frustration.  
  
“Just what the hell was that you bloody old geezer? What the fuck was this good for...?!”  
  
“Shut up, you little piece of shit,” I growl, standing up. “It’s one thing to have you rut against me all the time, but to try to fuck me without so much as a by-your-leave...”  
  
“Well, it’s not like you’re ever willing to do anything. Or able to,” he adds with a cruel laugh, giving my lap a dismissive glance. I see red.  
  
He ducks my first punch and makes a leap for his spear. His fucking _expensive_ spear _I_ paid for. I have him by the throat and wrestle the weapon from his grip before he could comprehend what’s happening.  
  
“This stops here,” I tell him, my voice calm, although I feel nothing as such. “You can go and relieve your urges elsewhere. Go and pick up somebody, force somebody or pay for a whore, I don’t care. I’m not here for your amusement.”  
  
“You know what, you fucker? I will,” he chokes out, fingers trying to peel my grip off to get more air. “It’s pointless to stay with you anyway, going after the bloody headhunts, listening to your fucking silences. I gain _nothing_ by staying with you, so I’m off tomorrow.”  
  
“Good,” I release him. There’s a moment when we just stare at eachother, Hidan flushed and snarling, I keeping my face blank. There’s an aching feeling in my stomach that I ignore. He storms to the bed, drags his side of the covers down and goes to sleep in the bathtub, making sure the door slams after him.  
  
I lay awake, part of me acknowledging the childishness of this argument. Another, up till now dormant part thrills with the drama of it. I’m obviously getting old, if Hidan’s words can make me feel this bad. That’s the gist of it - I’m an old _and_ impotent walking dead. A winning combination.  
  
The correct reaction to his offense would have been to beat him up, to tear him into bloody pieces again, until he cried for mercy. To force that bloody spear up his ass and fuck him with it until he passed out from the pain. I wouldn’t have hesitated to do any or even all of these, back in our Akatsuki days. Hell if I know what holds me back now.  
  
But instead of marching into the bathroom to drag him out by his hair to face his punishment I’m staying still in the room and try to reassure myself with the thought that it must be uncomfortable in the tub. Maybe I should save both of us the trouble and leave now, but bloody hell, I paid for this room... and I haven’t sank so low yet to run away. Also, I’m not looking forward to uncountable sleepless nights, fearing the nightmares to come.  
  
It’s sometime over midnight - hours have passed - when the bathroom door opens and Hidan slips back in. Without a word he crawls under my cover and presses close to me. I hold back the urge to relax and embrace him, but he keeps nuzzling and kissing my neck until I give in. He sighs contently when I pull him tight against me.  
  
“Pathetic,” I say out loud, meaning both of us and the whole situation in general. He just snorts.  
I’m on the verge of sleep when I hear him murmur “you came back” and I know that’s the only apology I’m going to get.


	4. Full Recovery

  


/*/*/*/

  
Hidan keeps pestering me for things he wants. It’s obvious that I’ve spoiled him. He doesn’t fear retribution as he should. Not that he ever did.  
  
“Let’s rent a better room.”  
  
“Why don’t we stop here to eat?”  
  
“I’ve heard there’s a temple in that village where a priest preached _against_ Jashin-sama. Let’s go in and kill the bastard.”  
  
He stopped keeping silent at nights, instead whines, hoping I’ll break and give him what he wants. I soon grow tired of saying no, so I think up errands he should run in exchange. This new arrangement puts my mind at ease. I like things this way, setting the correct price for everything. For a simple thing like a handjob, I make him wash our clothes for a week or prepare all of our meals. When he tries to feed me the usual half-raw chunk of meat I refuse to touch him. He rants and curses, but next dinner is noticeably more edible.  
  
When he wants me to suck him off, I tell him to find the man I’ve been hunting for weeks. It turns out to be a bad idea - five days pass with us practically just going round and round in a circle, before I tear the map he obviously can’t read from his hands and find the hideout myself. He gets to fight the guy alone though, and I got a very handsome bounty for the head, so in the end I give him what he wants.  
  
The desperate moans he utters make up somewhat for the inconvenience I’ve always considered this act to be – whenever I’m not on the receiving end, that is. There’s a tight coil of arousal growing in my belly as he tries to thrust up into my mouth and I hold him down. I’m not getting stiff, but this feeling gives me hope that’s only the matter of time.  
  
“So,” he asks later, after I rinsed out my mouth and returned from the bathroom, “what do I need to do to get...”  
  
“Don’t push your luck,” I warn. He smirks, but drops the subject.

/*/*/*/

  
“We’re lost again, aren’t we?” I question Hidan with a degree of resignation.  
  
“No, we’re not!” he protests loudly but unconvincingly. He turns away when I try to take the map from him, although he obviously has no clue how to read it properly. “It is up here somewhere.”  
  
“Up here somewhere” – how many times have I heared this already? For the best part of the last month we’ve been looking for some damn Jashinist sanctum that Hidan seems to think is “up here somewhere” on the mountains around us. I don’t know why I let myself talked into such a ridiculous mission. Probably I had just nothing better to do.  
  
However it’s getting annoying, climbing up the slopes, finding nothing and starting on the next one. Maybe the place doesn’t exist at all, maybe Hidan just invented it in one of his sadomasochistic moments, when he was curious how long I’ll tag along before snapping.  So far I only wove my threads around his neck and dangled him off from a cliff once, but there’s a headache forming behind my eyes, a sure sign that the second occasion is nearing.  
  
“Give me that fucking map,” I snarl. “You’ve absolutely no sense of direction and I begin to suspect you can’t even read.”  
  
“You’re such an impatient jerk,” he protests. “I’m just trying to figure out if this path leads up to the peek... I’m sure this is the right one...”  
  
I don’t know which of us is more surprised when we really manage to find the temple. There’s an opening of a cave of some sorts, half hidden behind rocks and bushes. Steps are leading downwards into darkness.  
  
“Just stay up here a bit, okay?” Hidan sounds nervous.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“You know... you’re a heathen miser after all, I don’t want you to get sacrificed...” he doesn’t quite look me in the eye, making me suspicious. Hidan is just too stupid to be a good liar.  
  
“You didn’t really expect to find this place, did you?”  
  
“Just wait here, I’ll be back in an hour.”  
  
“One hour Hidan, and I’ll go after you and drag you out by the ear.”  
  
After two hours I feel angry enough to want to rip his moronic head off from his body. After three, I feel like going in and tearing down the whole place. After four a bit of anxiety creeps in to mix with the fury, and I decide to follow him.  
  
The staircase leading down is almost in complete darkness. A torch is flickering at the bottom of it, so I take it from the wall and venture further in. There’s a long corridor ahead, doors opening from it here and there. By the flickering light I notice there are paintings on the walls, all picturing people being tortured, being killed, being raped by a dark demon of some sorts, who maybe supposed to be Jashin. Most of the victims wear a raptured expression. How charming. I have the urge to throw down the torch in hopes the whole shithole will burn to ashes.  
  
Instead I silently creep deeper into the twisted temple, promising Hidan hell for being such an idiot to bring us here. This place bodes nothing good.  
  
I can hear voices now, quarrelling. There’s a wide room at the end of the corridor with a stone altar occupying the middle of it. Hidan is bound to it, I can tell despite the gloom of the chamber from the way he is struggling. There are two corpses nearby the entrance, his doing I guess from the wounds on their chests. There are four figures standing around my cursing partner, arguing.  
  
“Let me go, you fucking asshole,” I hear Hidan scream at who seems to be the leader of the group, a man with long white hair. “How dare you do this to me?”  
  
“Now, now there brother, no need to get rude. We just want to help you.”  
  
“With attacking me and tying me up, you bastard?!”  
  
“This is for your own good. You are obviously delusional. All we asked of you is to continue the experiment, so we can be granted immortality as well by Jashin-sama. But you wish it to be bestowed upon a heathen you call your partner,” the man’s voice is low and filled with fake shock and distress.  
  
“You old fuck! If you’d be worthy, Jashin-sama would have given you his gift already! But instead of living and fighting as you should to bring death and destruction you’re just hiding here, jerking off to your fucking paintings! You should...” Hidan’s words die in a scream. I can see now that his own spear is thrust through his abdomen and the long haired priest has twisted it. Anger builds up in me. I’ve seen and heard enough.  
  
Three of the Jashinists die rather easily, barely understanding what’s happening before they fell down at my feet. Their leader is tougher though and has some dirty tricks up his sleeve. The technique he uses is like a curse - I feel my skin burning under it, though there’s no actual fire. Would I be an ordinary man, I’d crumble. Being as I am, it just fuels my fury and soon enough I manage to take him by surprise, tearing his head off his body. Hidan eyes me warily as I walk up to him.  
  
“Haven’t you said you’re coming after me in an hour? Took your time again, didn’t you.”  
  
I narrow my eyes. His wary tone doesn’t quite match his scornful words.  
  
“I wanted to give you time, to enjoy this lovely reunion with your _brothers._ ”  
  
“Bloody traitors,” he mutters.  
  
“Care to tell me what’s the big idea?”  
  
“They wanted to get my immortality,” he mutters. It’s a half-truth, I guess.  
  
“And that part about your heathen partner?” His eyes darts away.  
  
“Just untie me, will you?” I grab the handle of the spear, not quite moving it. The kind thing to do would be to knock him unconscious before pulling it out of him, but I’m not in a kind mood.  
  
“This is becoming a habit, don’t you think? You get stuck at some dark underground place and I come to rescue you. But I don’t know if I should really do it this second time.”  
  
“Kakuzu, you...”  
  
“Answer the question, Hidan.”  
  
“All right, fuck you! I wanted to see if they could do the experiment on you as well... so you’d be _really_ immortal. But they weren’t keen on the idea.”  
  
“And you didn’t feel you should discuss this with me first?” A tremor goes through my arms from the suppressed fury at his audacious plan. He hisses as the spear moves, making further damage to his insides.  
  
“I knew what you’d say, you bastard! But you have died once already... I don’t want to...”  
  
“I don’t need your help,” I interrupt, not really wanting to hear the end of that sentence. “Your or your god’s.” I grab the hilt of the weapon more firmly and yank it out from his flesh in one forceful movement. Hidan screams then goes motionless.  
  
I use his short unconsciousness to try to quench my fury. I can’t say why I reacted so violently, other than his whole fucked-up plan is just plain wrong. My hands shake even as I untie his limp arms and legs. To grant me immortality indeed... I don’t know where he got the nerve from, to think I would accept something like this from his religion. To assume it is _me_ who needs saving, when it’s him, always getting into the most perilous situations. Damned, stupid, wrong-headed little fuck.  
  
“Are you going to explode?” his cautious voice shakes me out of my murderous thoughts. “Cause if yes, let’s get over with it now.”  
  
I grab his hair and slam his head back against the hard stone altar with enough force for his eyes to lose focus. For a moment there’s no resistance from him, as if he decided to endure my wrath, but he doesn’t last long. When I raise his head again to repeat the motion he jerks violently out of my grip, leaving a handful of silver hair in my hand, and kicks me hard in the stomach.  
  
Next instant we’re rolling on the floor, trying to beat down the other and hurling insults. The gash on Hidan’s abdomen is still open and bleeding heavily, but he doesn’t seem to care or even notice.  
  
“You little shit,” I grunt as I force his head back so he can’t bite me “no one asked for your interference. _I_ can take care of myself, while you...”  
  
“Bollocks! What’s the guarantee you won’t kick the bucket again? I just tried to make some precautions...” his fingers are digging painfully into my neck, leaving bloody marks, I’m sure.  
  
“Precautions? Afraid I’m not going to save you next time you lend yourself in deep shit? Maybe you should be more careful of your actions, so...”  
  
“I just don’t want to lose you, you fucking bastard!” he shouts into my face, then grabs the back of my neck and pulls me down for a kiss. He catches me by surprise, which he turns to his advantage, pushing his tongue inside my mouth. He bites down hard on my lip so I taste my own blood and suddenly some closed door opens inside of me, and I’m hard. Painfully so.    
  
Hidan obviously feels it as he gasps, cackles like a maniac and kisses and bites me again. Anger turns into lust in a heartbeat and now we wrestle to get each other out of our clothes and not only to beat the life from each other. A few punches still fall here and there, but that doesn’t stop either of us.  
  
Our coupling is fast, hard and dirty, fitting for Jashin’s temple. As soon as we’re naked enough I shove Hidan down on the altar face first and he spreads his legs, fingers gripping the stone’s edge. He yowls and growls and curses me loudly as I push into him. His channel is too tight and too dry, making the penetration painful even for me. When I pull out and thrust back in, the passage is eased with blood. Honestly, I’m past the point of caring how badly I tear him - he’ll heal anyway, and he doesn’t seem to mind at all either.  
  
He’s pushing back to meet my thrusts even as he cusses, gasps half-formed prayers to Jashin and yes, there’s his usual “you came back” as well. I pull his head back by the hair and grunt to his ear.  
  
“I’ll always come back for you,” but stop disappearing, stop being such an idiot, never try to do something like this again without my consent I mean by it, just not in the right mind to say that all.  
  
Hidan makes a strange choked off sound and his hand reaches back, digging his sharp fingernails into my nape so hard that I’m sure he draws blood and keeps me there, leaning onto his back. I pull his hips back just slightly, so I can grab his prick. Though my movements are hardy coordinated, he comes just after a few strokes, clenching around me even tighter, triggering my own orgasm.  
  
He remains on his stomach even after I pull out of him and sit down on the cold floor, my back against the altar. Slowly my pulse goes back to normal and my head is clearing. I feel good – better than ever since my renewed existence. I guess I can say that with this I’m fully healed.  
  
I look sideways to Hidan. Even in the dim torchlight I can make out the pink trail dripping down his thighs. Semen from me and blood from him. Seeing it feels me with some deep, dark satisfaction. You are mine now, I think, but don’t say it out loud of course.  
  
Minutes tick by and when there’s no sound or movement from him I start to worry. Maybe I should have stitched that wound closed on his stomach before fucking him, but I really wasn’t in the state to think things through. I stare at him, silently willing him to show some reaction – I know he can feel my gaze after all – but he remains still.  
  
“Won’t your Jashin be angry with you for desecrating his temple?” I ask to break the silence.  
  
“Are you mental? We just gave him the best fucking show ever. He can’t be anything but pleased,” his voice is rough, but he sounds normal. Normal for Hidan anyway.  
  
“Are you going to move in this century?”  
  
“No,” he actually turns his head slightly, rubbing it against his arms, as if wiping off tears.  
  
I sigh, and give him a few more minutes.


	5. Time Passes By

 

/*/*/*/

  
I don’t really keep track of time, so when the news reach us that Konoha’s Jinchuuriki became their Hokage, I have some difficulty in deciding how long ago have I met the damn kid. I can hardly believe my own calculation that at least three years must have passed since my resurrection to his word, so it had been even before that.  
  
When was the last time we talked about our revenge, I wonder. A year ago? Two? It seemed so important at the time. Repeating again and again our list of people we wanted to see suffering and dead. The shadow-kid. Kakashi of the Sharingan. The Nine-tails - Uzumaki Naruto, I guess his name is worth knowing now. I can’t even be sure he earned his title recently- we’ve been spending time at the edge of nowhere and news doesn’t travel fast at places like this.  
  
We’re in a small hut - the owners were killed and buried when we moved in - waiting for the winter to pass. We got stuck up here in the mountains when the snow fell surprisingly early and decided to wait till spring before we venture anywhere else.  
  
It’s the longest we’ve ever spent together without anything to do, or anywhere to be. We pull through with surprisingly few arguments. In a month we were at each other throats maybe three times. That’s record breaking.  
  
It’s strange, being idle, but not necessarily bad. There aren’t any assignments, no jobs that can’t wait. And the hut is rather nice.  
  
When the roads aren’t too bad we make a trip to a nearby village to fill up our supplies - food, thicker cloaks, an extra blanket, books. That’s where we heard the rumours, as we went into the small pub for a drink to warm us up before the road back.  
  
Hidan is now standing at the window, as deep in thought as he’s capable of it. He’s probably pondering over how we’ve both forgotten about our vengeance, just as I’ve been doing. It just takes him longer to reach a conclusion. I smirk at the thought.  
  
“Aren’t you reading your book?” he asks suddenly, without turning back.  
  
“I am.”  
  
“No you are not. You’re ogling me, you lecherous old pervert. I can feel your gaze in my back, you know.”  
  
“Do you, now?” caught, I don’t even try to deny it, although my thoughts haven’t been of the carnal type this time. I raise my novel, trying to get immersed in it again.  
  
“I wasn’t complaining. I understand why you’d rather check me out instead getting bored to death by that dusty book,” he leers at me, looking back over his shoulder.  
  
“Come here then.”  
  
“You really should raise your ass if you want something from me,” he protests, even as he sheds his clothes and walks up to me. He straddles my lap, takes the novel from my unresisting fingers and casts it aside. As always, his closeness fills me with satisfaction.  
  
He is naked and the room is rather cold, but his body is hot as usual. I run light fingers down his spine and he arches into the touch. Still, I stop him when he reaches to untie my pants.  
  
“Don’t you want to go back and do it anymore?” I question him. For a moment I think he’s going to pretend that he doesn’t understand what I’m talking about. Then he sighs, rolls his eyes to reply in a fake light voice.  
  
“Of course I do. But we can’t right now, can we? The roads are bad and I guess there must be an upheaval in Konoha around their new Kage. So maybe in the springtime... or summer...”  
  
“Yes,” I nod “maybe then.”  
  
Spring then summer come and pass, but we both pretend we forgot about this agreement.

/*/*/*/

  
Variety is the spice of life as they say, so now and then we undertake other jobs than headhunting. There’s a lot to choose from for men of our league. Sign on to be bodyguards, assassins, joining mercenary groups for example.  
  
Soon I have to conclude that neither of us is good at working closely with other people. We have the tendency to kill our comrades and even our employers when being annoyed.  
  
With a sigh I look at Hidan, who’s lying in Jashin’s symbol. His skin in still black and white, which probably means his victim is not dead yet. There are eight corpses (or seven and one who’ll soon be one) around us. It’s the tradesman who still has any life in him I think. He’d be the one Hidan wanted to see suffer the most.  
  
He hired us for extra protection when travelling through the forest. We guarded him well enough - but he was stupid enough to make some derogatory comments on me. Then insulted Hidan as well who stepped in to talk back. I make a mental note to remind the little idiot that I don’t need him to stand up for me. The argument quickly got out of hand and the tradesman and his usual guards got massacred.  
  
We’ll build a bad reputation like this, if we continue to kill our employers, I muse as I go and collect what’s valuable. We need to make up for the reward we would have got at the end of this mission.  
  
“That’s so petty,” I hear Hidan sigh when I roll over the bodies to search through their pockets.  
  
“Just get up and help,” I reply and to my surprise, he does.

/*/*/*/

  
I was never the jealous type. Hell, I hardly ever had anybody to be jealous of.  
  
I don’t get jealous of Hidan either.  He gets chatted up sometimes, when we’re at an inn, or if we work together with other people. It’s not a surprise, he’s a good looking man after all, and if he doesn’t immediately start to talk about his religion, one might not even notice the queerness of his personality.  
  
When he wants to piss me off, Hidan flirts with these strangers. It never has the effect he desires.  
  
“Don’t you want to step in?” he storms up to me in fury. I lower the Bingo book I was studying and frown at him. We are in a quiet pub and I’ve just started to enjoy my solitary drinking. “I’m about two minutes away from getting a room and fucking that woman,” he points at a busty blond smiling uncertainly at us from the other side of the room.  
  
“Have fun,” I tell him, sipping my drink. He stares at me for a long moment, mouth slightly agape, before he draws his brows together in fury.  
  
“You’re such a stoic asshole,” he declares, shoving my shoulder hard, before grabbing my hand and dragging _me_ into our room.  
  
“What would you do if I took up someone on their offer?” he asks later, when we’re all sticky and sated. I think about it for a moment.  
  
“I might kill them,” I say because my post-orgasmic state makes me content and I know he wants to hear that.  
  
“Hmm,” he sounds satisfied. “So why do you never interfere?”  
  
“I know you won’t go with them. You won’t find anyone better than me, after all.” That surprises a bark of laughter out of him, before he manages to arrange his expression back into a scowl.  
  
Hidan doesn’t seem to realize I’m not getting jealous because this dependency keeps us together against all odds. I can’t even imagine it now, not having him by my side all the time.  
  
Years have passed since I last fought against my nightmares. Maybe I wouldn’t have them without him sleeping next to me any longer...but I don’t want to find it out the hard way. He’s the anchor that keeps me in this word, and I am his. It’s simple as that.  
  
Hidan being Hidan doesn’t think of things like that. He’s blindly jealous if anyone so much as gazes at my way. I guess that’s why he keeps following me everywhere. People who aren’t put off by his presence or my own less than welcoming reactions are usually end up sacrificed to his god.  
  
“I think your Jashin now holds an entire harem of mine,” I tell him, torn between annoyance and amusement as he wipes his blade off. The young man lying gutted on the floor made the mistake of buying me a drink the day before. Although I think he just wanted to hire some muscle and nothing more lecherous than that.  
  
“Very funny Kakuzu,” Hidan growls and kisses me for good measure. Possessive little idiot.

/*/*/*/

  
  
We are in a cheap room, spending a few days with well-deserved rest after a particularly taxing month passed with head-hunting. I’m sprawled on my stomach on the too soft bed, a book in front of me, but I haven’t been reading.  
  
I’m thinking about the time that passed by. I’m feeling a bit pensive and my current book is not interesting enough to snap me out of this mood. I glance at Hidan, sitting in the chair, legs folded underneath him, wearing nothing at all, sharpening his spear with great care. He seems untroubled and I feel slightly envious of his simple view on life.  
  
He feels my eyes on him and looks up.  
  
“What’s with the long face, Kakuzu?”  
  
“I just realized that two months ago I turned hundred.”  
  
He snorts at that. I don’t even know why I bother telling him it. When he realizes I’m serious he puts down his beloved weapon and comes up to the bed, crouching down to take a good look at my face.  
  
“A hundred, you say? That can’t be. You’re not older than thirty… thirty-five at most.”  
  
“Stop deluding yourself, idiot,” I smirk. “Even _you_ are over thirty now.”  
  
“Who, me? No way,” shaking his head he straightens up. Raising up his arms level with his shoulders he slowly turns around so I can take a good look at him. He’s also looking down at himself and only lifts his head when he’s facing me again. “What are you talking about,” he grins “I have the body of a twenty years old.”  
  
“And the mental capacity of a twelve years old.”  
  
“Very funny, _grandpa._ ”  
  
He eyes me for another long moment before he goes to my pack and rummages through it until he finds a phial of oil.  
  
“As a belated birthday present I’m giving you a massage,” he announces at my raised eyebrows. “Though it must have been _very_ important, if you only remembered the day after two months have passed.”  
  
I’m only wearing loose pants which he quickly drags off. He straddles my waist carefully, keeping his weight on his knees. Pouring oil on his hands he starts to knead and prod the tight muscles in my shoulders. He’s good in this, and soon I find myself relaxing.  
  
“For a round number like this, I’d have expected something bigger,” I mutter just to annoy him, but for once he doesn’t react.   
  
For being such an impatient person he keeps up his ministrations for a long time. Hand sliding lower he continues on my back, mindful of the masks. I think of letting my hearts, my monsters out so he can get at my muscles better, but my body feels slack and I just can’t be arsed to make the effort that costs.  
  
There’s a tingle of arousal when he starts to work on my lower back, thighs and bottom. Hidan chuckles softly the content sigh I can’t repress. He slips oily fingers in between my cheeks and rests them against my hole in a silent question. I open my legs slightly in invitation.  
  
“I thought this was my present,” I point out, though I don’t move from my reclined position.  
  
“Hmm… you forgot about my thirtieth as well.” He’s right in that – I’m not even sure when his birthday is. It was never important before and really, we just use it as an excuse now. Me, because I want to give in to being passive, while not admitting it openly, and Hidan because he jumps at every opportunity to get me under him, which I know is not as often that he’d like.  
  
He takes his time preparing me and uses ample amount of oil, so there’s practically no pain when he pushes inside, just a slow burn of desire.  He thrusts in deeply but slowly while I remain as I am, sprawled on my stomach, moving back just slightly to meet his movements.  
  
He’s demanding and aggressive whenever I fuck him, always trying to make me to go rougher, faster. He screams and curses and claws and bites. Fucking Hidan is like fighting a battle, albeit a pleasurable one, which never fails to leave both of us sated and breathless.  
  
He’s different when he gets to be on top. Things go at a slower pace. Today he’s especially careful, even gentle as he thrusts into me. He whispers soft nonsenses like “there”, “is that good” and “you came back.” Maybe he is conscious of my old age, I think with dry humour and doesn’t want to put too much pressure on my back. Maybe that’s why he keeps repeating “you came back” after all these years - he’s afraid I’m going senile and would forget otherwise. I snort at the thought and Hidan goes still.  
  
“I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself,” he says and I can hear the pout in his voice “but maybe you could... you know, be _here_ actually? Maybe contribute?”  
  
“Your fault, getting me too relaxed.”  
  
He mutters something rude and snaps his hip in more sharply, making me clench involuntary around his length. He hisses in pleasure and continues at a faster pace. He soon comes with a shudder, forehead pressed down between my shoulder-blades, fingers clasping my upper arms.  
  
He doesn’t pull out until I growl impatiently, my own desire still unsatisfied. When I roll onto my back he sucks me off, the lazy, pleasant feeling lingering in me throughout the whole act.  
  
“You are smiling,” he says afterwards, cuddling next to me and touches the corner of my mouth with his fingertips. “What are you thinking of?”  
  
“That being over a hundred years old is not that bad if you have a young lover,” seeing his self-satisfied grin I can’t help but add: “Even if said lover is not really that young any more, being thirty-something and all.”  
  
“You are such a fucking bastard Kakuzu!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are wondering: Kakuzu’s birthday is on 15th August and Hidan’s on 2nd April. What would we do without Narutopedia? :)


	6. A Shadow from the Past

/*/*/*/

  
“Here,” Hidan throws a parcel at me “this is for you.”  
  
“And what ‘this’ may be?”  
  
“A present. For our anniversary.”  
  
“Our what?”  
  
“Our tenth anniversary. You know...” I stare at him and he fidgets a bit, nervous “it’s been more or less ten years since you dug me out. I decided that I could name today as such. And stop looking at me like that,” he snaps “you started the whole thing, whining about your birthday and everything.”  
  
I just raise my eyebrows, not mentioning it was more than half a year ago. Thoughts sometimes take a long detour in Hidan’s mind before they surface again. I look back to the package I’m holding. It is wrapped neatly (obviously not Hidan’s doing) and even without opening it I can tell it is a book.  
  
I turn it around in my hand. A present. I haven’t gotten one since I was a child.  Presents are something innocent - a thing you get _for free_ and will probably make you happy. I’m not used to them at all.  
  
“It’s not a Jashinist holy book or something like that, is it?” I look up in suspicion at Hidan and surprised to see him virtually vibrating with excitement.  
  
“Just fucking open it already,” he snaps and reaches out as if to tear off the wrapping himself. I hold it out of his reach and take off all the small tapes one-by-one, so the paper remains whole. Hidan groans in frustration.  
  
The book is nothing to do with Jashinism. It is an old novel, something I’ve been searching for in bookstores. Hidan, who’ve never shown the slightest interest in what I’m reading remembered it, collected the money for it (although I know he never cares if he has any), and brought it when I didn’t notice. He even made someone wrap it up. I am touched.  
  
“So, do you like it at all?” he asks anxiously.  
  
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “It is a thoughtful gift. Thank you.”  
  
He smiles, his usual confidence returning.  
  
“So - what are _you_ going to get me?”

/*/*/*/

  
  
Some days I wonder how much have I changed. I’d like to think I’m essentially the same person as I was. Maybe mellower. More content with life in general.  
  
Sure, I’m different in this relationship - I guess I can call it that - with Hidan. Over the years I’ve begun to know him. Even started to trust him, within reasonable limits, of course. Proof of that is I let him get to know me a bit as well.  
  
Other than that nothing much changed. I do the same things I did for decades. I’ve kept most of my old habits. It’s just that Hidan is by my side through all of it. I’ll allow that this isn’t an insignificant change, however I refuse to think that it made me softer or less deadly.  
  
Hidan - he’s mostly the same as well. He annoys me with his religion still, especially when he gets me to do something Jashin-related: searching for a “sacred” scroll, eviscerating priests of other religions, beating down other Jashinists after a theological argument he’s losing...  
  
Maybe we don’t really change because – in the strict sense of the word – we are not truly human. Hidan, with his ability to stay alive even under the direst conditions, with the curse he’s using to link himself to his victims, his lust for blood…  
  
And I – with my five hearts, the threads connecting them to my system and keeping my body together… the masks on my back, the stitches all over my skin… and of course the way I came back from death and claimed this body as my own – I’m certainly not human at all.  
  
Sometimes I forget this is the way we are. It’s easy to think of Hidan as an irritating brat, the way he’s bound to act most of the time. Well, truth to be told he’s maybe not as reckless as he once was. Maybe less loud as well, or I just got used to his chatter, his shrill battle cries and attempted provocations when he feels I’m not paying enough attention to him. It would be strange if that ended. Probably I’d even miss his voice. That’s a peculiar thought, but it doesn’t bother me as it would have a few years ago.  
  
All in all I don’t mind having him by my side. It is a nice change to decades of solitude.

/*/*/*/

  
  
There’s some kind of festival in the town we visit, huge number of people mingling on the streets, masks, lampions and other decorations hanging from everywhere, and vendors selling food, gadgets, toys and who knows what else from quickly fabricated stands.  
  
I find the crowd stifling, the noise too loud, the decorations obnoxious. Hidan of course thrills in it.  
  
He’s just trying to make me buy some disgustingly sweet looking pastry when I feel someone watching me. It’s not the usual glance I usually receive from a passer-by - my height, the heavy jacket covering the masks on my back, my long hair pulled back into a loose pony tail, my eyes that remained black and green and of course the stitches on my face always gets me some attention. Not to mention the silver-haired hyperactive idiot tugging on my sleeve, dragging me from sweet stand to sweet stand. As if sugar isn’t the last thing he needs when he’s so winded up.  
  
Unobtrusively I look around, searching the crowd for the owner of the unmistakably hostile glance. When I find him, it takes me a moment to recognise who he is. The dark hair pulled up into a spiky pony-tail remained the same, just as his eyes, narrowed as if he’s already calculating what would be the best next move. He’s older and there’s a nasty burn mark on his neck and lower part of face. There are three children around him, his own or his pupils I can’t tell.  
  
The shadow-kid who blown up Hidan and left him in the well. Only he’s not a kid any longer.  
  
I quickly buy my over-excited partner a box of candy to shut him up and tell him to wait for me in the room we rented. He looks at me quizzically but does as he’s told with surprisingly little argument.  
  
I elbow my way out of the crowd and go into a narrow, quiet street. Leaning against the wall I wait for my opponent to appear.  
  
He does so in a few minutes, alone. For the barest of moments I can read the expressions on his face: bewilderment, anger and fear, before he quickly closes them up.  
  
“It is really you,” he says, and there’s an accusation in his voice I can’t help but smirk at. “Kakuzu. So the other guy was that insane priest? Hidan?”  
  
So he wants to talk, doesn’t he? Not quite sure where I want to take this to, I decide to humour him.  
  
“The one and only, shadow-boy.”  
  
“But how is that possible?” for a moment he loses his blank face and I can see he’s troubled. “You’ve died and he -how could he get out? Fifteen years have passed and yet you are here... looking the same.”  
  
“We are immortals,” I lie. Fifteen years, was it really that much?  
  
“You can’t be.”  
  
“Compared to you we are, boy. Age hasn’t been kind to _you._ ”  
  
“You are monsters,” he declares. I ignore it and anyway, from his point of view he’s right.  
  
“You took quite a risk, coming after me alone. Aren’t you afraid those three brats will only find your body sans the heart come morning? Or do you think you can defeat me?”  
  
“You sent the priest away and waited for me on you own. I wanted to know why.” He’s smart, just as I remembered him to be. I nod.  
  
“I don’t wish to fight you, but if Hidan sees you, I won’t be able to keep him from attacking you.”  
  
“How kind of you to think of my well-being,” he says sarcastically. I’m growing tired of this conversation so decide to cut to the point.  
  
“I’m offering you a deal. I’ll leave you in once piece and those kids with you as well. In exchange you leave this town immediately.”  
  
“What do you get out of this?” he asks slowly. “You know that when I return to Hidden Leaf, I’ll tell about you to the Hokage. We never expected the Akatsuki to return. The Hokage is...”  
  
“I know who he is,” I cut him off. The way he says _Hokage_ , like he expects me to be intimidated by even the mention of him is aggravating. “And we aren’t Akatsuki anymore. You can tell your precious Jinchuuriki that we’re still alive, but even he can’t charge into neutral territory without a good reason. And I’m not giving him reason with letting Hidan kill you.”  
  
“You surely don’t expect that we’ll let you run away?”  
  
“Are you saying I should kill you so you can’t tell about us?”  
  
“Don’t you want revenge?”  
  
“If you are so adamant to die shadow-boy, I can help you to the other-word. If you are not - I suggest you to flee. We aren’t going back to Konoha, not in _your_ lifetime at any rate.”  
  
He remains silent, thinking. I watch him mull over my words, his possibilities, maybe more, what he could witness before I noticed him. He was a smart brat and now is a smart man, so in the end he nods.  
  
“We’ll be gone in an hour. I hope we never meet again,” and with that, he is gone.  
  
I walk back to the inn slowly, my thoughts dark. This encounter bodes nothing but trouble. Even if Konoha doesn’t start to hunt us, I need to make sure we keep a low profile for a few years. If the Hokage sends a notice to the other large shinobi countries, warning them about our presence we will have a very restricted territory where we won’t be in danger.  
  
Maybe I should have killed this bastard from the Leaf to buy us time.. but no, in the end that would have brought us the wrath of the Fire Country sooner than anything. Fifteen years of relative peace spent with Hidan… it passed so quickly. Will it be ruined by one unlucky encounter? In retrospect it’s a wonder that we haven’t been discovered by our old enemies sooner. Still, I don’t wish for this period in my life to end. I’ve been content.  
  
I find Hidan reclined on the bed when I enter our room. He’s wearing an unusually thoughtful expression, somewhat ruined by the fact that his mouth is full of candy. The box next to him is already more than half empty.  
  
“Had fun without me?” he slurs.  
  
“As always.”  
  
“Care to tell me _what_ you’ve been doing?”  
  
“Not really,” I tell him and he sighs. Getting up he waves the box under my nose until I take a sweet from it, though I don’t really care for the taste.  
  
“So I’ve been thinking,” he begins slowly. My eyes darts towards him - somehow I don’t like the tone of his voice. “We haven’t talked about our revenge in ages, have we? I’ve just come up with the best plan.” He looks at me expectantly, but I don’t reply. Is it possible that he brings this up today of all times just by pure chance?  “So the plan is like this: we wait about forty more years before going back to Konoha. Everyone will be withered and old, but we’ill be the same as now and will laugh our arses off at the look on their faces,” he has a cruel glint in his eyes when he delivers the final blow. “That bastard already looked so much older, didn’t he?”  
  
“Hidan...” I start with a sigh.  
  
“Just how stupid do you think I am?”  
  
I suppose that’s a poetic question, so I don’t bother with an answer. We’re silent for a few long minutes. I’m slightly relieved that I don’t have to hold him back from charging after the shadow-wielder. After a while he starts to tap his feet impatiently. It’s not much what Hidan can endure in silence.  
  
“Don’t you think you owe me an apology?” he snaps. “Or fuck that - I’ll go with an explanation. You let the bastard run away, didn’t you? You know - if I was that keen to rush back I would have done by now. How much time has passed? Twelve years? An eternity.”  
  
“Fifteen years,” I correct automatically “But that’s hardly eternity.”  
  
“That’s not an answer...”  
  
“I didn’t want you to kill that bastard. Konoha would have hunted us for revenge... like this there’s the possibility they’ll leave us to our own. I’m not keen to be on the run - I’m rather satisfied with the way things are now. We might have to go into hiding still, but there’s the chance we won’t have to, however slight.”  
  
Hidan thinks that through, stuffing another handful of candy into his mouth. He seems to come to a conclusion to his satisfaction as he smiles.  
  
“Yeah, I’m happy with how things are as well. So you didn’t think that I wouldn’t be able beat him, and it wasn’t why you sent me away?”  
  
“No, that had nothing to do with it. Anyway I would have been there as well to get you out of trouble...”  
  
“Fuck you, I could easily beat him!”  
  
In the end I manage to soothe his wounded pride with offering sex and the promise of more sweets later on. Lucky that I can always count on Hidan’s carnal desires if I want the easy way out of an unwanted conversation.  
  
As for me I stay awake long into the night, brooding. Fifteen years - it’s really not that long compared to the whole length of my life so far. Planning the future is not something I usually dwell on, but right now I think about it. Will we be like this in another fifteen years, doing the same things, acting the same way? Maybe, probably. Perhaps I’m just a man of my habits, but it’s not an unpleasant thought.  
  
With a sigh I roll onto my side and look at Hidan. He’s sleeping on his stomach, drooling and hogging most of the bed. He thinks he’s immortal, yet he says fifteen years are an eternity. But  who would have thought we will manage together so many years? Maybe we’ll be fine for a long time still.  
  
That have to do for now I decide and let sleep claim me.  
  
 **THE END**  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this attempt to give Kakuzu and Hidan a “happily ever after”. Please leave a comment if you liked this story. Constructive criticism is also welcome.


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